The Candy Heart Marriage
by Right Hand Blue
Summary: Best friends Addison and Derek promise to marry each other as kids. As grown ups, will their love grow into something romantic and will they admit it? Written by LizzieLovesLife and yours truly.
1. Chapter 1

Hmm well basically a story which chronicles significant conversations in the lives of two best friends as they grow up and written because i am doped up and Liz didnt want to sleep as she is getting doped up tomorow.

Addek all the way :D

we dont own them but really should do for the sake of humanity

* * *

Addison looks at her best friend nervously, tugging at her red ponytail before hesitantly approaching him. "Hey, Der..."

He smiles at her happily before he shoves his hand underneath her nose, offering her a sweet "want one? My mum bought me loads today at the store"

She takes it with a small smile, slowly sitting down next to him, untimely tears making their way to her eyes.

"Derek, I need to tell you something."

He looks at her seriously before he scrunches the top of the bag and turns to face her

"What's wrong?"

Addison sighs deeply before looking at him. "Okay, so you know how my dad had trouble at work and I told you that we might have to start begging for food at your house?"

He nods slowly before taking her hand in his pulling her to her feet so that they begin to walk

"Well..." She holds his hand a little tighter, avoiding his eyes at all cost. "He quit his job. But the good news is... he got a new job."

He smiled at her widely "that's good right!" he looks at her closely "why are you crying still?"

"Derek... the job is in San Francisco. We're moving there. Next..." She sobs, clutching on to his hand. "Next week."

His smile falls and he looks at her sadly "oh"

She stops suddenly, turning to face him. "I don't want to move away, Derek. I want to stay with you."

He sniffs, wiping his nose self consciously "you can still visit right? I mean, we'll still see each other?"

She shrugs, tears now falling freely. "Yeah, Derek, but when? My parents don't exactly have a ton of friends here and they're sure as hell not going to drive back here for me. I don't want to lose you, Derek. You're my best friend, I need you!"

"My mum can drive me, I can come down every weekend!" he says desperately, tears beginning to spring in his eyes "san Francisco? That's about two hour's right?"

"I don't know, I don't care, I don't want to leave Derek! I want to stay here, with you!" She lunges into his arms, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "I hate my house. My parents don't have time for me; I don't want to go make new friends. I just want you. It's not gonna be the same... not being here with you. It's just... not."

He hugs her back just as tightly "don't worry I promise we'll find away to see each other, and you'll make new friends, who would be stupid enough not to know you" he sniffs again "besides we can talk on the phone, we'll never be apart for long I promise"

"Swear that we will always be best friends. That you won't find someone... someone else, someone better."

He pulls back and looks at her straight " I promise…in fact" he looks down registering the bag of sweets in his hands before he opens the packet and roots around inside pulling out what he wants then getting down on one knee "Addison will you marry me?" he pronounces holding up the gummy ring in his hand

She looks at him, her eyes wide. "Why would you want to marry me? And... Will our parents even let us get married? We're not even in high school yet."

"Well not now silly, when were older of course so we can never be apart" he shrugs "and who cares what our parents want? We'll be together"

"Well... do you seriously want to marry me?"

He rolls his eyes before he takes her hand and navigates the slightly sticky ring up her finger "there now you're my wife and I am your husband and there's nothing you can do about it even if you were going to say no"

She smiles coyly, twisting the sticky ring around her finger with great difficulty. "Well... I wasn't going to say no and..." She leans forward, kissing him on his cheek softly. "And that is for being my husband."

He smiles, blushing slightly at the gesture "I'll buy you a real one when I'm older and make lots of money"

"It doesn't matter. I like this one. It makes me your wife and it means we'll be together forever, no matter what, right?"

"Forever and ever and ever and ever" he holds onto her hand again and they begin walking back home "and we'll have babies and be old and wrinkly"

"Cool. I like the sound of that." She sighs as her house comes into view, moving a bit closer to him. "I should go pack... I guess."

He nods sadly before he stops making her stop abruptly also "Addison?"

She looks at him, tilting her head slightly. "Ya?"

He breathes deeply before he suddenly steps forward and kisses her on the lips, giving her a quick kiss before he pulls back and runs home shouting over his shoulder "I'll miss you"

Addison looks after his running figure, slowly bringing her fingers up to touch her lips, her voice just a hoarse whisper. "I'll miss you too, Derek. And I love you."

* * *

Ok so if we should continue please tell us cause Liz will throw in a dog and maybe a lock of a family memebers hair for reviews

shes pretty serious about that :D

Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews! We totally love them!

Um nothing much to say apart from this is four years later so they are now both sixteen.

We don't really own them…shame really

* * *

**Four years later**

He'd been sitting at the same table now for an hour, stirring the same spoon in the same cup in a drink he only bought out of politeness. His knee continuously see-sawed up and down, and every once in a while when he tried to appear normal, he would take a sip of the lukewarm coffee, and grimace slightly.

Addison immediately spots him, sitting at a secluded table in the corner. She takes a deep breath before approaching him, forcing a Smile onto her face. "Hey Derek. Long time no see."

He turns around to her smiling as he gets up to hug her "I think it's been too long, get the stuff I sent you?"

"Yeah... thanks it was great. It was all... great." She looks down at her hand, smiling at the ring she now has to wear on her pinky. "I've missed you, you know. I've... missed my best friend."

"Yeah…" he pulls back to look at her properly, her petite frame shrouded by baggy clothing and a thick jersey even though the weather is far from cold "speaking of missing, where's the rest of you Addison?" he asks softly, watching as she begins to avoid his eyes

She shrugs back, forcing a very fake smile onto her face. "Oh, you know how it is... exams and stuff. You get busy, run around a lot."

"Addison…." He sighs watching her shuffle nervously, tucking a loose strand behind her ear before he decides to drop it "let's just have something to eat" he offers a small smile

She quickly squeezes his hand before grabbing the memo. "Okay, so the pasta is really awesome here. I'll have... the Napolitano with Fettuccini."

"And in English?" he jokes, happy when he sees her smile

"It's just pasta with tomato. What are you having" She is unable to keep the grin off her face, watching his dark brown eyes scanning the menu.

"The chicken thingy" he says with a definite snap of the menu, beckoning the plump, rosy waitress over with his hand and giving their orders. When finished he takes another sip of his coffee letting them fall into a comfortable silence.

Addison smiles, allowing herself to study him for a few seconds. "You have grown up quite nice, Der."

He chuckles then bends his arm so that he can show off the growing bicep "I've joined a gym, played some soccer" he strokes it lovingly "I've named him Simon"

Addison throws her head back in laughter, arching a brow. "Simon, eh" She reaches over, squeezing his bicep with a grin. "Not bad... Simon."

He grins "yeah I'm pretty proud of him" he begins to lower him arm when he notices the faint scars in the hollow of Addison's sleeve, which, he captures before she has the chance to retract all the way.

Addison frowns, trying to pull her arm out of his grasp. "Derek, what are you doing? Let go of me."

He stays silent, his grasp secure but not tight as he holds onto her, his left arm coming up to help his right, pushing back the thick material on the sleeve so he can get a better look of her skin "what's this?"

Addison shrugs, avoiding his piercing gaze at all costs. "It's nothing; okay? Just... it's nothing."

"What do you mean it's nothing? Nothing's still something right?" he squeezes her slightly "look at me"

She finally looks at him, having to blink back stubborn tears. "What?"

"Tell me what's wrong" he leans forward "tell me why you have been…." He gets cut off when he sees the waitress approaching, dropping Addison's wrist so not to embarrass her. He smiles graciously for the meal, but can hardly find the appetite to stomach it.

Addison smiles politely, grateful for the interruption. She sighs when she notices Derek looking at her piercingly, shrugging slightly. "Things have been... hard... and I went through a phase where... it seemed like the way to deal with everything."

"You could have called me, written, email for goodness sakes! Anything is better than…than" he motions angrily to her wrist, unable to find the words to what she's done to herself "what would you have done if something went wrong? If you bled to death accidentally? Did you even think about what you were doing to yourself? To me?"

She smiles, shrugging. "If I had bled to death I would have had trouble doing something, now wouldn't I?"

He looks at her disbelievingly "do you hear yourself right now? Like seriously?"

"Relax, Derek. It was a joke. Haha?"

He shakes his head "you're unbelievable, I mean don't you care? The pain? The…sadness of it all?"

"Derek, get a grip. It's over, okay? I didn't handle things greatly, and I'm not proud of it. But I stopped so could you please not... just stop, okay?" She looks at him tearfully, her voice breaking. "I didn't want you to find out, get hurt."

"Addison…" he begins, taking in her broken state, her wet eyes, then deciding to rest the situation for now "…lets just eat okay?"

She smiles at him gratefully, wiping a few stray tears from her face. "Yeah... thanks. Look, I'm glad you're here, Derek. I've really... missed you."

"Same here, all I do now is hang out with Mark and his girlfriends" he smiles taking her hand from across the table and making soothing circles on its back "it's not that fun"

"What about you? Haven't you found a few girlfriends yourself?" She looks at him seriously, hiding her ridiculous fear of his answer.

He shakes his head "no, it just…it just doesn't feel right"

She has to hide a smile, nodding slowly. "Yeah... I get it. Hey, can I ask you a question?"

He shrugs "shoot"

She takes a deep breath before finding the confidence to ask what's on her mind. "Do you ever... think about me? Like... what could have happened if we never move?"

He looks away from his plate slowly, setting the fork comfortably amongst the pasta and the chicken feeling suddenly nervous "well...yeah" he sits up properly and scratches the back of his head "I mean if you had stayed we wouldn't have to meet like this, or hardly see each other or could have stopped" he looks to her hand "you know" he sighs "and if you hadn't moved we would probably be together, instead of leading two separate lives wondering what could have happened if you hadn't moved"

She nods slowly, a mischievous glint in her eye. "So have you ever... ya know... jacked off... thinking about me?"

He blushes a furious shade of pink and avoids her gaze, shuffling uncomfortably in his chair before he decides to be bold himself "well…have you?"

Addison grins, winking at him playfully. "I'm a girl. We don't talk about that. And I asked you first."

He narrows his eyes at her "I'll take that as a yes?"

Addison giggles softly, shrugging. "A girl has needs. So have you? Come on, you don't need to be embarrassed."

He gasps still stalling for time "you dirty girl you…." He looks around before leaning closer and whispering to her, pulling back when he was finished.

Addison lifts a brow, biting down on her lower lip. "Hey do you want to get the bill Maybe take a walk... or something"

He nods "sounds like a plan." He motions to the waitress who comes to clear their plates away putting down the bill on the table in her midst. Taking out some wadded bills from his pocket, he tries in vain to flatten them out and put them on the small silver dish, laying a couple of coins as a tip. Happy, he stands up and holds out his hand for hers "where to?"

Addison grins brightly, grabbing his hand. "We could go to my place, but then we'd have to see my parents. The beach?"

"The beach it is" he says, opening the door, then leading her out of the restaurant.

XXXXXX

Together, they walked slowly, shoes in hand, sand between toes, laughing about tiny details if their life, until Derek decided for a bit more bravery on his behalf.

"Addison?"

She looks at him expectantly, her heart beating fast when she notices the intensity in his eyes. "Yeah"

"When…when do you wanna do it?" he inhales deeply "when do you want us to...make love?"

"Wow..." Addison looks at him in surprise, unable to keep from smiling. "You want... you want... to be with me? Seriously?"

He looks at her strangely "who else would I be with?"

"I dunno, I just... okay, well... when do you to do it?"

"Whenever you're ready" he stops and swings her in front of him, taking both hands in his "I'll wait when you wait, as long as it's us then…" he trails off shrugging

She stops suddenly, pressing her lips against his softly, wrapping her arms around his body. "I want to be with you, Derek. Just... not yet. I don't know when... I'll be ready."

He kisses her back quickly "as long as I'm you're first and you are mine, then that's all that matters. I'll be on the first cheep flight down here, just you wait"

Addison grins brightly, pressing her body against his seductively. "Well... I promise, I'll let you know. And...for what it's worth... there's no one else I'd rather have as my first."

"Mmh so very true" he mumbles, before he bends down and kisses her again.

XXXXXX

* * *

Well this is the last update till Wednesday cause I won't be able to get to a computer for at least five days, due to an cool people conference in Italy :P

And Liz is still adamant about reviews that she'll promise two cats, a small dog and a whole head of hair :D

Review :D


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews guys. The whole cutting thing from the previous chapter will be addressed again, but for now we have some sweet Addek loving for you... please tell us what you think Hope you enjoy it

* * *

XXXXXXX

Addison watches Derek nervously as she sits on his bed, fumbling with her hands. "So... I'm sorry for not... calling first... just pitching up like this"

He yawns before closing the door and walking over to his bed where he reclines lazily next to Addison "its fine, why are you travelling so late?"

"I was... thinking and..." She sighs, covering her face with her hands. "This is so embarrassing..."

he begins to close his eyes, lying on his side away from her "yeah? About what?"

She bites down on her lip, closing her eyes and mumbling the words as quick as she possibly can. "Iwanttohavesexwithyou."

"mmhmm" he yawns heavily again

Addison smirks, moving her body closer to his and leaning over him, whispering in his ear seductively, each word slow and pronounced. "I. Want. To. Have. Sex. With. You. Now."

He opens his eyes this time fully aware of the extent of her words "come again one more time for me?"

She hits him angrily, getting up. "You think this is a joke I'm not saying it again, just... forget I was here."

"No Addison-" he sits up "it's just…" he lowers his voice "are you sure you're ready? I mean are you sure you want to do it now, now?"

"I drove all the way from San Francisco to be with you, Derek. Do you think I'd be here if I didn't think about it?"

"Oh" he begins to blush then turns away from her

"So... do you want to?"

He begins to wring his hands, looking everywhere but her "now, now? Like seriously now?"

"Look, if you don't want to then I guess it's okay, but..." She moves closer, resting her hand on his upper leg. "I just really want you. Now. Later. Whatever you're comfortable with. Now would be good."

"Would it kill the moment if I told you I was nervous? Like really really nervous?"

She laughs, shaking her head. "You think I'm not? I mean... I have no idea... I'm just... as nervous."

"Good, that's good" he smiles then positions himself so that he is facing her more directly now "what happens?"

"Um... well, I... don't really know how to do this, I... wait, do you have a condom?"

"Check in the drawer next to you"

She nods nervously, taking one out of the box and turns back to face him. "Okay, so... what, do we...like kiss now?"

He shrugs "I guess so...do you want to?"

She shrugs as well, deciding to fuse her lips to his instead of replying with words. His eyes close after the initial shock of Addison kissing him, before he decides to give up and slowly relent to the awkward situation, his hands finding her waist where his thumbs rub side to side. Addison moans softly, pressing her body closer to his while fumbling with the material of his shirt absently. Still kissing her intently, he begins to push her back so that she is lying underneath him, his hands now able to roam up and down her torso, feeling the smooth skin of her stomach as they snuck underneath her t-shirt.

Addison sighs contentedly, allowing her hands to roam further up his back, exploring every smooth line and muscle before she lowers her hands, stopping at the hem of his pants.

He pulls back from her quickly "you're sure about his right?"

She smiles into his eyes, nodding slowly. "I want this, Derek. I'm sure."

"Alright then" he kneels back to pull off her top, then grins wickedly at her "get naked"

Addison bites down on her lower lip seductively, watching him as she carefully unbuttons her jeans, pulling her hair out of the rubber band and allowing it to fall freely onto her shoulders.

"Hmm very nice" he says, a silly excited grin on his face "you've changed quite a bit" he acknowledges looking directly at her chest, then down towards her hips and legs.

She blushes at his comment, moving closer and grabbing his t-shirt, slowly pulling it over his head and placing a soft kiss in the hollow of his throat. "Are you just gonna watch?"

"Truthfully? Yes, it's all I plan on doing"

She shrugs, sitting back and allowing his gaze to travel over her for a few seconds before standing up and walking to his desk, sitting down on it seductively. "Well... when you're done, you can come and get me." She winks at him before lazily allowing her hands to travel over her smooth skin, watching him the whole time.

"For a virgin you sure seem to know what your doing" he says lying on the bed for a couple of seconds before he decides enough is enough and he goes over to her, pushing her back slightly so that she sat on the desk, his body between her legs as he pins her arms by her sides, whispering in her ear "the desk wont be able to take both our weights"

She winks at him, putting her arms around his neck. "Then take me to bed."

"You don't want to at least try the desk?" he says, her already in his arms despite wanting to try the weak table

Addison allows herself to melt in his arms, sighing deeply. "We can try the desk next time. If you don't mind having to buy a new one."

"I wonder what I have gotten myself into this time" he jokes before kissing her deeply once more, his mouth moving down and around her jaw line, dipping into her neck to suck at the soft skin then finally showering the tops of her breasts with kisses.

Addison moans at the feel of his lips on her soft skin, wrapping her long legs around his waist and slowly moving her hips against his, her eyes closed and her head thrown back against the pillows.

Using his hands, Derek slips the black straps of the lingerie he could tell she especially bought for tonight slowly bringing it down so that he can take more of her in his mouth, the grinding against his groin making him groan repeatedly. Her breath hitches in her throat when she feels Derek's mouth capturing one of her nipples and she presses her hips against his harder, marking her need for him in the only way she can.

Grinning at his reward, he suckles harder whilst his hand moves further down, toying with the waistband of her panties, pulling them as far as he can get them so that his fingers have room for what he's about to do with her.

"Derek..."She breathes out his name, unable to form any coherent words or thoughts

"Tell me what you want Addison, tell me what you want and I'll do it for my beautiful wife"

She groans, biting down on her lower lip. "You... just..." She opens one eye, watching him for a few seconds. "Just fuck me and stop asking stupid questions."

He looks at her shocked "I guess that's one way of putting it" he frowns at her slightly embarrassed for sounding a little un-masculine at his next sentence "you don't wanna make love?"

"Derek..." She looks at him in shock, resting her hand against his cheek. "I... wasn't thinking, I was... you were there and... I wasn't... thinking what I was saying and... you're not... I mean, I love you, Derek. I do... love you. And calling it fucking doesn't mean it's not making love..."

He shakes his head at her "you're full of surprises, you know that right?"

She blushes, her eyes searching for his. "So are you. And... I don't mean to be weird right now, but why are we having a conversation..? Now not that I don't like talking to you, I just... I'm kind of half naked and you're on top of me, so..."

He shrugs "I wanted to call you one this but seeing as you're fully ready I guess we can do it now" he pulls of her to stand, pulling down his sweats and boxers in one go so that he stood fully naked in front of her, his hands automatically coming in front to protect his modesty, before dropping to his sides nervously.

Addison almost turns her head away, the reality of her naked best friend in front of her suddenly hitting her. She shifts slightly, her eyes finding his. "So... what... should I do I really have no idea... how to... do this."

He shrugs "I pretty much have the naked part down so I guess you have to follow suit before we actually do it"

"Right..." She wriggles out of her thong, laying back on the bed and watching him silently.

"Ok…so were doing this…we're really doing this" he smiles then awkwardly walks over to the bed sitting down next to her.

She leans up to him, capturing his lips in a soft kiss before looking into his eyes. "Yeah... we really are..."

XXXXXX

Derek could feel the blood pump in his ears from recovering from what could only be described as the best feeling he had ever felt in his entire life. Lying here with Addison in his arms had done that, and he couldn't be more grateful that it was her and no one else he was with at this moment.

Addison sighs softly, snuggling up to her, enjoying ever inch of skin on skin touching. "That was... incredible, Derek... I feel...like I never want to leave."

"Ditto, although we should probably get some rest before we do that again"

She smiles, pressing her lips against his for a few seconds. "Even though it was... awkward and a little weird... I wouldn't have had it any other way. I wouldn't have wanted it with anyone other than you, Derek."

"Not even Johnny Depp?"

She laughs, tucking a strand of hair in behind her ear. "Not even Russell Crowe. And you know I have a total thing for him."

"Yeah I wondered what was up with that" he looks down at her "so when's the next time I see you?"

"I don't know... like I said, I don't even want to leave... I don't want to go back to reality. If we could stay like this forever... I wouldn't mind. I'd love it. So... can you give me some time before we talk about that? Before we go back to reality?"

"I guess that pretty fair" he sighs "does asking when you start you're internship count as reality?"

"Yes. Let's not talk, Der. I just want to enjoy having your arms around me and pretending that nothing is really complicated."

"Ok, that I can do" he says, hugging her closer so he can kiss the top of her head "goodnight gorgeous wife" he says smiling, extremely happy that she is his.

* * *

XXXXXX

Ok so please review because we're very tired girlies who need to get some rest :D

Review!


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry about not updating, but things have been pretty hectic on both sides of the pond, um last chapter I'd say Addison and Derek were around twenty, and this chapter moves on six years after that so they are around twenty six to my calculations, there is smut in this chapter so you have been warned and somewhat rewarded and that's about it

Apart from the huge amount of thanks for reviews for last chapter!

We don't really own greys but enjoy!

* * *

XXXXXX

**Six years later **

Addison looks at Derek blankly, her eyes void of all emotion. "Thank you for coming, Derek. I'm glad you are here."

"Addison you know you don't have to thank me" he takes hold of her hand and squeezes softly "I'm here for you, I'll always be there for you"

She smiles bitterly, shaking her head. "I should feel sad, or angry. But I just don't."

He shrugs "It's understandable, everyone experiences death differently" he says, not really understanding her previous statement.

Addison takes a deep breath, avoiding his gaze. "I'm relieved, Der. She did something... She was the reason I cut myself when I was younger."

He runs his thumbs over the faint scars he can still feel on her wrist "so you're ready to talk about that now?" he looks around absentmindedly "strange situation don't you think?"

Addison shrugs a faraway look in her eyes. "I guess... do you think I should talk about it?"

"I dunno, whenever you're ready you'll open up I guess"

"She cheated on my dad. I heard them fighting about it. My dad was... distraught, but she laughed in his face and told him that he knew this was never the life she wanted. She never wanted him. Or me."

Derek's hand clenched uncomfortably around Addison's before he loosened them and calmed down "well that totally sucks" he spat

Addison laughs bitterly, shaking her head. "I was never good enough for her. Not smart enough, talented enough, skinny enough, pretty enough... I thought that by doing it... I could control my own hurt."

"You're ok now right?" he looks at her uncertainly "you still don't do that sort of thing right?"

She holds her arms out to him, smiling proudly. "No fresh cuts and... its all because of you."

He smiles "well done us I guess"

"Yeah... Thank you, Derek. For loving me." she moves closer to him, cupping his face in her hands and kissing him softly.

"I wouldn't have it any other way" he wraps his arms around her waist "besides we're man and wife, it's my job" he smiles

Addison laughs, pressing her body against his with surprising force.

He stumbles a little "I guess someone has been working out?"

Addison laughs, kissing his neck softly. "I am not in the mood for a funeral."

He looks down at her raising an eyebrow "oh yeah?" he looks around quickly "wanna go for some ice cream?"

She lifts a brow, smirking. "That was not exactly what I was thinking..."

He screws up his nose "well I'm not really in the mood for anything else"

Addison stands up, shrugging. "Fine. Go get your ice cream."

He looks at her strangely "what did you have in mind?"

"Do I have to give you a lap dance before you get it?"

"Well no, but why cant we have the ice cream join us?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her, clearly with no intent to eat the cold dessert

Addison's frown turns into a huge grin as she slips the straps of her dress off her shoulders. "There is some down in the kitchen..."

"Flavour?" he asks, as he begins to slip out of his suit

She shrugs, slipping the dress further off and closing her eyes. "Don't care."

He grins managing to undress faster than he ever has before "lucky for you neither do I" he slips out of his boxers "about the ice cream anymore that is"

Addison laughs, pressing her body against his and fusing her lips to his desperately.

"We can always have the ice cream later though?"

Addison moans softly, stroking his thigh seductively. "Der... Stop talking."

He smiles "gladly" he says before he kisses her soundly, pushing her backwards until the backs of her knees hit the bed and she falls back softly with a thump. Climbing over her, he bends downwards grinning against her lips when he feels her hands snake through his hair, pulling him as close as she can possibly get him. Soon he feels her hands snake down his neck then around his back where he knows she will feel each and every muscle, tracing their outlines against his skin before she wraps her legs around him, allowing him to lay on top still without bracing his whole weight against her. Breaking the kiss, he looks down at her, her eyes still close, her lips swollen before she looks up at him and smiles lovingly, reassuringly, combing with her fingers a few stranded hairs away from his forehead.

"Ready?"

She nods, biting down on her lower lip; her eyes closed bracing herself for that familiar feeling of being full, complete with Derek as he slowly guides himself into her, letting her get adjusted before he pulls back a little to start a slow easy rhythm.

His lips find her neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin gently, feeling her pulse beat hotly through her veins, before deciding to up the pace, rocking his hips more frantically against hers, making her moan loudly in his ear. His scalp begins to burn when her fingers tighten in his hair, his hand barely rubbing at her sensitive bundle of nerves, as she writhes underneath him, her mouth making the noises he's proud to have put there.

Letting go of what little coherent thought she had, Addison surrendered to Derek's onslaught to her body, waves and waves of pleasure scrambling her senses so that all she could do was breathe, barely acknowledging Derek's frame collapse next to her, his own heavy breathing a sign of his satisfaction as slowly they came back to earth.

Addison drapes her arm around Derek's waist, pressing her lips against his neck. "That was amazing."

"You could say that again" he says, cuddling her closer, drifting off to sleep when he is woken up by the shrill ringing of his cell phone. He gets up, unashamedly naked and goes in search of it, groaning when he sees the caller ID

Addison stretches lazily, watching him through her lashes. "Who is it?"

He puts a finger up to silence her, then flips the gadget open only to have a hushed conversation which ended as soon as it began. When he flips the cell back down, he walks over to the bed and lies back down, pulling Addison as close as she was to him before.

Addison watches him with a small frown, tracing patterns on his chest. "Was it your mum?"

He shakes his head "it's nothing…just some girl I'm not that serious with"

She sits up, ignoring the covers falling down to her waist. "Some girl? Like a girlfriend?"

He shrugs "we're not that serious to be calling it that, but yeah maybe"

"Are you sleeping with her?"

"We've done it once or twice, but we were drunk both times"

She moves away from him, frowning. "Oh."

"I'm guessing it bothers you"

Addison glares at him, covering her bare chest up. "Ya think? Were you thinking about her just now?"

"You're seriously asking me that question? Like seriously?" he rubs at his forehead "look, I haven't really been in anything serious, she just happens to be with me now and frankly she doesn't hold a candle to you. Why would I be making these trips if she did? If I seriously thought she was the love of my life"

"Why even be with her, Derek?" She looks down, tears forming in her eyes. "You are the only one I've been with."

"I didn't know, I didn't think…we were drunk both times and I immediately regretted it afterwards, all I could think about was how she wasn't the woman I'm supposed to love, how she wasn't you" he looks at her still figure "I can understand if you want me to leave now"

She shakes her head, lunging forward and pressing her lips against his harshly. "Make love to me, Derek. To me. And say my name, keep saying it."

"Come again?" he says nervously at her new found forwardness

She stares at him, tears forming in her eyes. "Don't make me beg you."

"Oh" he says understanding why she is behaving this way. Brushing the hair from her face he kisses her softly, before responding to the sharp urgency she's showing him.

Addison kisses him back, tears streaming over her face, her kisses urgent and desperate. "I love you. I love you so much!"

Saddened by her efforts, by the way he's upset her, he flips them over, looming on top so that he can look into her tear stained face. Slowly wiping the salty tracks away he mutters over and over "My Addie, My sweet Addie" before kissing her at uneven intervals before she finally calms down slightly.

She looks up to his eyes, her breathing steady and calm. "You're my everything, Derek. You're my whole life. Promise me I'll never lose you."

He takes her hand, kissing the little pinkie where she keeps his promise to her "you wont lose me, I swear"

XXXXXXX

* * *

Reviews mean eye drops, so they mean a lot because my eyes are finding it hard to blink.

Gah i wish i had eyedrops...


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry this took forever to update, but there was some trouble with stuff, I'm just going to leave it like that

Thanks for reviews for last chapter, much love there.

We do not own greys.

* * *

Two years later

Derek sat, huddling his thick jacket closer, rubbing his hands together so that he could create some sort of warmth in his practically dead fingers "Tell me why again you decided a picnic in the middle of February was a good idea?"

Addison laughs, sweeping her red hair over her shoulder and looking at him coyly. "I reckoned you would keep me warm. Besides, I missed you."

"Not enough to do this whole thing in a house though" he grumbled, blowing on his hands, rubbing them harder than ever "but if it's any consolation I've missed you. A lot."

Addison smiles at him warmly, thrusting her hands into her pockets. "What do you want your life to be like in ten years, Der?"

He shrugs "Finish medical school, stuff like that"

She rolls her eyes, laughing. "I meant your personal life."

"My personal life revolves around you, whatever you do i do, Monkey see and stuff like that" he breathed out, seeing the mist rise "So it depends on what you want us to do then" he shrugged again "I dunno, I can start to feel the cold in my nether regions"

Addison rolls her eyes. "Well... i want kids."

"I see." He paused "Well then let's hope my boys warm up before frostbite sets in and causes mayhem"

Addison laughs, shaking her head. "Do you want to go inside?"

"please" he begs, before standing up and holding out his hand for her

She takes his hand, creeping in under his arm. "Okay."

XXXXXX

Addison leads Derek into the house, taking off her scarf slowly.

"So... Did you want to talk about anything?"

"not really no" he said, taking off his jacket to adjust to the humid front room and pulling down his jumper after it had ridden up slightly

Addison grins against his lips, slipping her hand into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Good... let's go to bed...?"

"I feel..." he turns around to kiss her on the lips "That you only use me for my body, not my mind" he pecks her again "Lets talk about that"

Addison presses her lower body against his, groaning when she feels his erection pressing against her.

"You sure you want to talk? Because I think little Derek has other plans..."

"I think he is proof enough for my case that you are a nymph"

Addison laughs softly, slipping her hand inside his jeans and watching him through her lashes.

"Are you complaining?"

he grits his teeth, forcing out an answer, and his mind away from Addison's manipulations "Maybe?"

"Fine." She retracts her hand, looking at him icily and stopping all her ministrations. "You want to talk? Let's talk."

His eyes snap open, gauging her serious expression "You know that I was joking right?"

"Oh Because you sounded serious to me."

She turns away from him, suddenly tearful, her shoulders starting to shake lightly.

He ignores the still raging blood through his veins, and steps towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders to turn her around slowly "I need to know what's wrong, or we are no longer through this together, we are Addison and Derek for a reason"

Addison shakes her head, tears forming in her eyes.

"This is hard for me, Derek. I can't just... I need you. What we have... it's not enough. I can't live on stolen moments and crumbs anymore, it's too hard. It hurts not to be with you every day!"

He hugs her taking a steady breath to stop himself from crying "I know things are hard, but we'll get through this. Do you think we would have kept this up if we didn't? We have phone don't we? And we can write letters..." he stopped, realising that they already did those stuff and still it didn't help matters.

"I just love you so much, Derek. It hurts so much not to be with you all the time, it just... and when I'm with you... all I want to do is make love to you because... It's the closest I can get to you."

He pulls back slightly, wiping away the wet streaks against her cheeks before he smiles sadly at her

"Things will be ok, just have faith"

She looks up at him, a small smile starting to grace her face.

"You can make everything seem worth it when you say stuff like that."

"Its one of my most charming qualities" he raises an eyebrow seductively at her "Want to know a few more?"

Addison laughs softly, lifting her head up to kiss him.

"Do tell..."

He begins to pluck at her buttons letting them pop open one by one "Well for one I make a mean lasagne"

She smiles, throwing her head back, allowing him to lightly suck on the skin he had just revealed.

"I can't argue with that..."

"Glad to hear it" he says, pulling her top upwards so that she could stand before him in her bra and jeans "I've heard from a very very reliable source that I am a good kisser"

She smirks, lazily dragging her tongue all the way from his jawline to his ear.

"Oh really? Who might that source be?"

"Oh just a certain red head" he slid the strap of her bra downwards, letting his heavy gaze wander "Apparently she's been known to see God whenever I'm with her"

"That's a lucky redhead..." She breathes sharply when his teeth lightly suck on the skin of her breast, moaning softly. "Derek... I want you now."

He smiled against her skin "I'm however a very patient fellow"

"Take me to bed, Shepherd."

She looks at him huskily, unable to pull a straight face anymore.

"My pleasure Mrs Shepard" he picked her up, carrying her off towards there bedroom where he lay her gently down onto the bed, stripping his jumper off, before leaning over her.

"I love you, Derek Shepherd. You'll never know how much."

* * *

Reviews make us write or else we get smashy


End file.
